Should children be provided with what they want when they whine? Absolutely no. So, should they ask for something they want in a nice way? Yes, that’s the way they should do. But it remains the question how to help them go through this positive transition.
Whining problem is commonly found among preschoolers and toddlers. Parents are usually suggested to advise their kids to ask for anything in the nicer way instead of whining about it. But, parents should also keep this fact into consideration that whining is actually about something deeper inside the children. Hence, there might be a deeper need of something inside the kid that makes him/her to whine.
Below are some tips to help you deal with your kid whose whining has become upsetting for you.
Lack of internal resources
Every child has some basic needs which, if not fulfilled, can get the child on the way towards whining. The basic needs of a child include proper eating, rest, downtime, connection with parents, and playtime. These are the basic resources which keep your child active and fulfilled. If your child is having a lack of any of these aspects, he may whine eventually. What else your child would do if you insist on taking him to the shopping trip when he is tired and hungry.
Whining due to the lack of attention
Now this is about the love tank of child which remains unfilled. When that happens, the child whines. Children are pretty quick in developing big emotions because they do not have any other external support, except that coming from the parents. If parents are not providing that emotional support in positive way, the big feelings keep developing. As a result of that, the child under age three would throw tantrums and the child above this age would whine.
Therefore, the parents need to be preemptive in their approach while providing emotional support to their kids. Emotional support to the children is something which should be given to them without those little fellows asking for it through their actions. The point is if you connect with your child properly and then ensure it on daily basis, you can control whining in your kids.
When the child feels powerless
As a parent, you may want to limit your kid. Now, your child may not like some of the rules you set but he/she has to stay within those limits. This makes the kid feel powerless against higher authority. This sense of powerlessness then provokes whining in the children. The solution to this problem is quite simple, i.e. connect with your kid. When you connect with your kid before implementing a rule, your child may not whine about it because he would feel being understood and cared about. Some children may ask you the reason for rule implementation. Now, you will get an opportunity to logically justify that implementation. Remember, you are doing all this because you want your kids to cooperate. So justifying for this purpose is worth the end results you can get.